Eastburn Adventures

Happy Anniversary - A Love Story (between a man, a woman, and God)

Today is a day I never believed would happen - my 5th anniversary with Robert! I am blessed beyond measure to have spent the last 5 years with Robert, and each day it just keeps getting better and better. Our love story is a story of God's redemptive love, trust, and healing. I hope you enjoy it.

WE MEET

Without going into too much detail of the past, let's just say I had very good reasons for not trusting the male species. By 2000, I was the oldest (and longest) member of our church singles group and had pretty much given up hope that I would ever get married, much less even date again. That's the year I met Robert. All I really thought of him at the time was that he was nice, but I wasn't interested. Instead, we became "friendly." Not friends - yet - but just friendly.

THE DECEPTION AND TRICKERY BEGINS

In October 2001, after a special event at church, a group of singles planned to grab a bite to eat at Village Inn, but it ended up being only Robert, his friend Michael, and me. Somehow we got into a discussion about relationships, honesty, and what men and women really want. Robert, being very sneaky and sly (I know this now - but not then) made the comment, "You know, growing up, I had 3 sisters and all my friends were girls. I'd just like to be able to call a girl and go to dinner or a movie and have it not mean anything." Silly me. I believed him.

WE BECOME FRIENDS

I think it was sometime in February 2002 that we discovered we both liked flea markets and spent a Saturday driving to several in the area. THIS WAS NOT A DATE. (He'll try to convince you otherwise, because there was pretty much a blizzard happening and we were driving on the highway and I didn't cancel - I just didn't want him to think I was chicken.) He also started calling me about once a week - usually on Mondays - and (yes, I know this NOW) under the pretense of finding out about some singles activities our church was having. I remember one call, which was during the Winter Olympics and I really was only half-listening to him and flipping channels because the luge or something boring was on, and came across the first rose ceremony of the first episode of the first season of The Bachelor. I flipped out. "WHAT ARE THESE GIRLS DOING? ARE THEY INSANE? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD DO THIS? (Oh, no - don't pick her - she looks snooty. . .)" Poor Robert. I made him turn on his TV and watch the train wreck with me. The next week, he called me earlier in the evening and said, "Hey, there's this stupid TV show on. . ." and we ended up watching it "together" over the phone. Oops. I got hooked. We ended up watching the entire season together over the phone, and it led to many interesting discussions. Such as: Me: That's not a date - that's a fantasy. How can they get to know the real person in that situation? Ridiculous. Robert: You're right. They can't. OR Me: How can he pick out a ring? He doesn't know which girl he's going to pick. Doesn't he know that each girl has her heart set on her "own" ring? How lame! If I ever get married, the guy will know that I want a platinum band, princess cut center stone, and bagettes on the sides! Robert: (takes notes. His sneakiness and trickery continues.) The good thing about the show is that it caused Robert and I to have a lot of serious discussions about relationships and expectations in a safe manner, because we weren't in a relationship! We dealt with all that stuff before we even started dating.

THE PARTY THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

Meanwhile, our lives away from each other continued. Steve and Ginger were engaged, and a bunch of girls had a fabulous bachelorette party for her at a friend's house. Some of the girls from our singles group set out to prove that Christians could have more fun at these parties without going out and getting drunk and doing all sorts of inappropriate behavior. They were right. The highlight of the night was when Steve and his gang crashed the party, and he got down on one knee in front of Ginger and sang Michael W. Smith's "Love of My Life" to her in front of all of us. (Collective "awwww" now.) Then he had a stretch limo SUV waiting out front and whisked her away for a private drive before coming back for the rest of us. I stood in the hallway watching Ginger leave and said, "I want to get married just so I can have this party!" The next morning in Sunday School, I said how wonderful the party was, and that I now believed "there are some good guys out there - they're just all taken." Oops again. I really hurt Robert's feelings without knowing it. But thankfully, he swallowed his pride and continued his sneaky, underhanded trickery to pursue me. (Note: this is an ongoing disagreement between the two of us - he swears that I tricked him into chasing me.) :-)

A WEDDING PROPHECY

Steve and Ginger were married in April, and at their reception, a mutual friend turned to me and said, "Well, you're next." I laughed, because I wasn't dating anyone, and didn't think there were any prospects. A couple of weeks later, when Robert and I were watching The Bachelor, he asked what I was doing the next night, and if I wanted to have dinner. My brain immediately went back to the October 2001 meal where he said he just wanted to be friends with a girl and dinner didn't mean anything. I believed him, and said, sure. I met him at the restaurant (note: he did not pick me up); I offered to pay for my own meal (but he insisted, saying he could "buy a friend dinner"), and that was that. It was not a date. (This is another ongoing dispute between us.) However, I did become confused at that point, wondering if there was something going on in his mind thinking that it was a date. But since I didn't know if it was supposed to be a date, I decided it wasn't a date.

THE (OFFICIAL) FIRST DATE

A couple of weeks later while "watching" The Bachelor together, and I said "that's not a real date" - he asked me, "What do you consider to be a real date?" My response - because I figured this would help me figure out the earlier dinner together - "Both people have to know that they're on a date so they know what the expectations are." Robert - "How would you like to go out on a date?" Me - "I'd love to - with who?" Oops. I went too far. I was teasing, but again, hurt his feelings. But again, he swallowed his pride and said, "with me." Of course, I had to say yes at this point - I knew I'd gone to far. We decided to go to Silver Dollar City the upcoming Saturday, May 4, 2002, but on Thursday, I won 4 tickets to a St. Louis Cardinals game from a radio contest. I e-mailed him and asked if he minded changing our plans, which he didn't, because that meant he got to spend more time with me. (tee, hee, hee). Oh yeah - did you catch that I won 4 tickets, not 2? I also invited my nephew and his pregnant wife on our first date. Did I mention that I had some relationship issues to work through? And maybe a problem with trust? In all fairness to me, we took separate cars to St. Louis - yes, Robert and I were together. On the ride back, we got into a very serious discussion which completely freaked me out and left me no choice but to tell him some very personal details about my past. Robert was very concerned, caring, and considerate, and told me that he didn't want to freak me out more than I was, but that a few weeks before he'd been thinking and praying, and that what I'd just told him came to mind. God was literally preparing him to hear what I had to say before I ever said it! Amazing!

I FREAK OUT

After the first date, things happened fast. I freaked. I got scared. I prayed. I cried. I talked to my best friends. I prayed some more. The Monday after our first date, Robert sent me a dozen red roses and signed the card, "Tammy, I never dared to dream that I would meet someone like you. Love, Robert." Did the boy just not get that he was freaking me out in a major way? (Yes, I still have the card.) He asked me to have lunch with his family on Mother's Day, and the Tuesday before was when he first told me those three little words. Freak. Out. I went to lunch, but got sick on the drive down to Lebanon because I was so nervous. Robert was very gooey in those days, too - which also contributed to my freak out situation. He asked what I was doing on Memorial Day weekend and asked if I wanted to go to Colorado with him because he "wanted to see the sunset in the mountains with me." (gag. too. much. sweetness. Ok, ok - I liked it a little.)

THE SIGN

Although we were officially dating now, I still went out with my girlfriends. I think it was the Friday after I met the family that Amy and I went out to dinner. She asked how it was going with Robert and I said, "He's in love with me." Her response was, "well, duh." I was completely freaking out with her, too, and said, "I don't know what to do - I can't handle this - I need a sign - I just need a sign!" At that very moment, she said, "Isn't that Robert's car?" Can you believe it? He was driving home in a way he didn't usually drive at the exact moment I said I need a sign. Score another for God's plan and sense of humor. My response - "I need another sign!"

THE PRAYER

Obviously, I was praying a lot during this time. Here I had a man in my life saying he loved me, and I couldn't accept it. Everyone loved Robert - he's intelligent, sweet, kind, Christian, had a good job, funny, caring, thoughtful - I could go on and on. What was wrong with me? One night, I cried out to God - "I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I love him. I don't know that I really know what love is. I don't want to make a mistake." I believe that I heard the Lord answer in my mind - "Tammy, my child, what have you been praying for all these years?" Me - "That I would meet a nice guy." God - "And what does everyone say about Robert?" Me - "That he's a nice . . . oh." And then the kicker. God didn't tell me outright that Robert was the man He'd prepared for me. He didn't tell me that I wouldn't have doubts. But I heard God ask of me so clearly, "Do you trust ME?" Talk about putting faith into action. My head knew the answer, but I had to get that through to my heart. The next time I saw Robert and he told me that he loved me, I was able to respond in kind. I think he was about to cry the first time I said to him, "I love you, too."

THE PROPOSAL

At this point, I pretty much knew that he planned on proposing in Colorado. Now, he's a romantic, but I'm practical. So when I was in a local Christian book store and saw "The Christian Wedding Planner" on the shelf, I bought it "just in case." I figured that driving back through Kansas on Memorial Day was going to be a long, boring drive, and we'd have hours to get a lot of the planning done. (I didn't know I was a Knitter at that time or I'd been knitting away!) I stuck the book in my backpack. We left on Friday night, drove past Hays, KS and spent the night, and arrived in Estes Park, CO early the next day. We drove around, and poked around in the shops downtown. Robert wanted to drive up into Rocky Mountain National Park for a bit, but it had snowed the day before so we could only go as far as Horseshoe Bend. We got out and hiked around a little - and all the while I'm thinking how is he going to propose at sunset and am I really going to say yes or am I going to freak out more - and he points out this ridge on a mountain to me. "Do you see that bluff over there?" "Yeah." "I think we could see forever from up there - but you know what - I can't see my forever without you in it. Will you marry me?" Yikes. What happened to sunset? It's too early! Also, we were standing on the edge of a mountain. If I said no, I wondered if he would he jump or instead push me? Oh yeah - this was God's plan for my life. The answer is yes. And yes, the ring was a beautiful platinum band, princess cut center stone, with bagettes on the side. I told you he took notes. So, three weeks after our first date, we were engaged. Now it was my turn to freak out people - starting with Ginger! She'd asked me last minute to be the reception coordinator for her wedding because of issues she was having with the wedding coordinator, and said she'd return the favor for me someday. She just didn't expect me to ask her to do it just a month after her wedding! (And if you do the math, you'll see that it was exactly 3 weeks after our first date that we were engaged.)

THE WEDDING

We did get a lot of planning done on the drive home through Kansas - although Robert was a little surprised when I pulled the wedding planner book out of my bag because he thought he was going to surprise me - and since 2002 was literally the year of weddings, I got a lot of ideas of what to do and what not to do. Because my niece was getting married in September, and my sister Kathy worked at our church, she knew the church calendar and that November 30 was the first available Saturday for a wedding and had passed that information along to me "just in case." (Poor Robert. He really didn't stand a chance.) The 30th also happened to be Robert's birthday, as well as the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and that wouldn't work. So December 7 was the next available date, and that's when we said our vows. The ceremony was perfect (although the rehearsal was a disaster - but that's another story), and although we have a wonderful marriage, what I remember most about our love story is how God guided us to each other. I'd known for years that if I ever did get married, I wanted my friend Peggy to sing "On the Side of Angels" at my wedding, because there's a line in the song that says, "Every time I touch you, don't you feel it, too - the gentle Hand that's guiding us, you to me, me to you?" and "Heaven only knows why this took so long, but only Heaven knows when Love is right or wrong." And it is - very, very right.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

I am so thankful for my marriage, and my love for Robert grows deeper all the time. The best is yet to come. . . and oh yeah, I did get the most awesome, fantastic, fun bachelorette party ever - but that's yet another story. Thank you, God, for the blessings you've given me, especially Robert. I love him with all my heart.